Home Is Not (Yet) A Place:
The Conversation

Home Is Not (Yet) A Place:
The Conversation

This is a conversation between me and Lloyd’s Inn (more accurately, Joan from Lloyd’s Inn since buildings don’t typically ask questions, not in this manner anyway). It was inspired by my latest collection of writings, “Home Is Not (Yet) A Place”. These words have come from my ongoing quest for a sense of belonging, a sense of self—attempts to re-define and re-shape what “home” means for me before it can be built in a physical place. An inside job. These words can be found on the walls of Lloyd’s Inn from SEPTEMBER 19 to OCTOBER 20, if you’re curious, if you’re on such a quest yourself. Meanwhile, this conversation reaches between the lines and into the story behind the collection and this journey of mine. We also talked about fashion/style as a mode of expressing my self and, more interestingly, translating my inner world—often subconsciously—which presented me with a surprise flip-side view of the way home: From the outside in. With me as my own mirror. My own wall to transcend.

This is a conversation between me and Lloyd’s Inn (more accurately, Joan from Lloyd’s Inn since buildings don’t typically ask questions, not in this manner anyway). It was inspired by my latest collection of writings, “Home Is Not (Yet) A Place”. These words have come from my ongoing quest for a sense of belonging, a sense of self—attempts to re-define and re-shape what “home” means for me before it can be built in a physical place. An inside job. These words can be found on the walls of Lloyd’s Inn from SEPTEMBER 19 to OCTOBER 20, if you’re curious, if you’re on such a quest yourself. Meanwhile, this conversation reaches between the lines and into the story behind the collection and this journey of mine. We also talked about fashion/style as a mode of expressing my self and, more interestingly, translating my inner world—often subconsciously—which presented me with a surprise flip-side view of the way home: From the outside in. With me as my own mirror. My own wall to transcend.

Joan: Tell us about your latest collection of writings, and what inspired it.
Me: When I was growing up, my family moved around frequently. It’s hard to pin down the concept of “home” to a place when the walls and floors around you are constantly changing. Later, I made one of the most difficult and painful decisions of my life—to extract myself from the people I had known to be “home” when that “home” had become too unsafe for my mental health. 

This collection comes from my ongoing quest for a sense of belonging, a sense of self that could not, in my own experience, be found in places. When I look back, I see that I had never truly grasped, or questioned, what it means to feel “at home’’. I always felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round world. No one taught me that I could re-shape, re-define and build my own. So Life stepped in. Sometimes you have to leave the “home” you were assigned (a matter in which we have no choice) so you can begin your true journey—your inner home-coming (this, our choice). The writings in this collection are snapshots of mine. 

Home is not yet a place until we start building it from within. It’s not a home that can be defined by walls and floors and things and addresses. What I hope is that these words will give fellow square pegs the inspiration and courage needed to re-build and re-define home for themselves. Do this with love, kindness, self-acceptance and deep self-knowledge, and then maybe one day, you’ll find that no matter where you are, there home is.

Joan: Tell us about your latest collection of writings, and what inspired it.
Me: When I was growing up, my family moved around frequently. It’s hard to pin down the concept of “home” to a place when the walls and floors around you are constantly changing. Later, I made one of the most difficult and painful decisions of my life—to extract myself from the people I had known to be “home” when that “home” had become too unsafe for my mental health. 

This collection comes from my ongoing quest for a sense of belonging, a sense of self that could not, in my own experience, be found in places. When I look back, I see that I had never truly grasped, or questioned, what it means to feel “at home’’. I always felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round world. No one taught me that I could re-shape, re-define and build my own. So Life stepped in. Sometimes you have to leave the “home” you were assigned (a matter in which we have no choice) so you can begin your true journey—your inner home-coming (this, our choice). The writings in this collection are snapshots of mine. 

Home is not yet a place until we start building it from within. It’s not a home that can be defined by walls and floors and things and addresses. What I hope is that these words will give fellow square pegs the inspiration and courage needed to re-build and re-define home for themselves. Do this with love, kindness, self-acceptance and deep self-knowledge, and then maybe one day, you’ll find that no matter where you are, there home is.

Joan: What does “home” mean to you?
Me: Home, for me, is not yet a place, that’s for sure. I do have a calm and safe space to “come home” to, which I love and I’m always grateful for. But it’s in stillness, when I’m breathing easy, jaws relaxed, when I feel comfortable and confident being me. When I mean what I say and say what I mean without an anxious need to fill every silence.  When I feel enough, nothing to prove, no need to explain, no one to please. Seeing beauty in my “strangeness”. Solitude. When I’m watching clouds. When I’m lost in the worlds of books. The sound of birds and rain—the most ordinary moments and miracles I don’t let slip by unnoticed. When I make an effort to take care of my self. When I get dressed in the morning. Home is in all these moments.

Joan: Describe one thing about Lloyd’s Inn that resonates with you.  
Me: I like calm spaces, as you know. Because I’m quite sensitive to energy, I feel my best where it’s calm and peaceful. That’s how Lloyd’s Inn feels to me—a soul asylum.

Joan: You are a writer, photographer, but every time we meet, your outfits always have that certain je ne sais quoi. How does fashion influence your identity and profession?  
Me: Thank you. I’ve always dressed to how I feel each morning. So I suppose the opposite of this question is true for me—my sense of self determines/influences my style choices from day to day. That said, I once read this line by The Gentlewoman: “Choosing a look today is an act of deciding who you will be tomorrow.” I really like this idea. Although I haven’t been successful in picking an outfit in advance, I totally agree that the right outfit can change how we feel about ourselves. It has a sort of superpower—to make us feel, and move, and speak as an elevated, more wow version of ourselves. It’s an opportunity to be your favourite version of you, every day.

Joan: What does “home” mean to you?
Me: Home, for me, is not yet a place, that’s for sure. I do have a calm and safe space to “come home” to, which I love and I’m always grateful for. But it’s in stillness, when I’m breathing easy, jaws relaxed, when I feel comfortable and confident being me. When I mean what I say and say what I mean without an anxious need to fill every silence.  When I feel enough, nothing to prove, no need to explain, no one to please. Seeing beauty in my “strangeness”. Solitude. When I’m watching clouds. When I’m lost in the worlds of books. The sound of birds and rain—the most ordinary moments and miracles I don’t let slip by unnoticed. When I make an effort to take care of my self. When I get dressed in the morning. Home is in all these moments.

Joan: Describe one thing about Lloyd’s Inn that resonates with you.  
Me: I like calm spaces, as you know. Because I’m quite sensitive to energy, I feel my best where it’s calm and peaceful. That’s how Lloyd’s Inn feels to me—a soul asylum.

Joan: You are a writer, photographer, but every time we meet, your outfits always have that certain je ne sais quoi. How does fashion influence your identity and profession?  
Me: Thank you. I’ve always dressed to how I feel each morning. So I suppose the opposite of this question is true for me—my sense of self determines/influences my style choices from day to day. That said, I once read this line by The Gentlewoman: “Choosing a look today is an act of deciding who you will be tomorrow.” I really like this idea. Although I haven’t been successful in picking an outfit in advance, I totally agree that the right outfit can change how we feel about ourselves. It has a sort of superpower—to make us feel, and move, and speak as an elevated, more wow version of ourselves. It’s an opportunity to be your favourite version of you, every day.

“Solitude. When I’m watching clouds. When I’m lost in the worlds of books. The sound of birds and rain—the most ordinary moments and miracles I don’t let slip by unnoticed. When I make an effort to take care of my self… Home is in all these moments.”

“Solitude. When I’m watching clouds. When I’m lost in the worlds of books. The sound of birds and rain—the most ordinary moments and miracles I don’t let slip by unnoticed. When I make an effort to take care of my self… Home is in all these moments.”

Joan: How would you describe your design/fashion aesthetic?
Me: It feels true and right to me. I trust what I am drawn to (which has taken me years to learn), and often there’s no explanation or logic to it. It’s instinct. The heart loves what it loves. One of my favourite quotes is from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” 

What I’m drawn to… are often quietly bold/confident in colour and silhouette, and always comfortable on the eyes, on the skin, on the mood. I also love unexpected details, even if it’s hidden for my own secret knowledge and appreciation. I’m not usually comfortable expressing my self verbally, so in many ways intended or otherwise, clothes are like translators of my inner world. 

Joan: Do you see yourself exploring other mediums of art and expression, aside from writing and photography?
Me: I do. As I’m finding more freedom of expression, getting more comfortable and honest in vulnerable places, I’m excited to see how my inner journey will influence and expand my creativity. Art is how we see, interpret and make sense of the world, a mirror of life. If the artist is very lucky, our art will also bring comfort and optimism to those who encounter it, wear it, are inspired by it. I don’t know how and in what form this expression will manifest, but I feel it—in gestation. More, and I hope better, is yet to come.

Joan: Describe yourself in one word. 
Me: Unfinished.

Joan: How would you describe your design/fashion aesthetic?
Me: It feels true and right to me. I trust what I am drawn to (which has taken me years to learn), and often there’s no explanation or logic to it. It’s instinct. The heart loves what it loves. One of my favourite quotes is from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” 

What I’m drawn to… are often quietly bold/confident in colour and silhouette, and always comfortable on the eyes, on the skin, on the mood. I also love unexpected details, even if it’s hidden for my own secret knowledge and appreciation. I’m not usually comfortable expressing my self verbally, so in many ways intended or otherwise, clothes are like translators of my inner world. 

Joan: Do you see yourself exploring other mediums of art and expression, aside from writing and photography?
Me: I do. As I’m finding more freedom of expression, getting more comfortable and honest in vulnerable places, I’m excited to see how my inner journey will influence and expand my creativity. Art is how we see, interpret and make sense of the world, a mirror of life. If the artist is very lucky, our art will also bring comfort and optimism to those who encounter it, wear it, are inspired by it. I don’t know how and in what form this expression will manifest, but I feel it—in gestation. More, and I hope better, is yet to come.

Joan: Describe yourself in one word. 
Me: Unfinished.

“Home Is Not (Yet) A Place”
is available for viewing at Lloyd’s Inn from September 19 to October 20.

“Home Is Not (Yet) A Place”
is available for viewing at Lloyd’s Inn from September 19 to October 20.

Lloyd’s Inn and I wish to donate 50% of the total amount collected with the sale of all seven pieces to Star Shelter*—a temporary refuge for women and children survivors of family violence. Help us make this little warm wish of ours come true.

Lloyd’s Inn and I wish to donate 50% of the total amount collected with the sale of all seven pieces to Star Shelter*—a temporary refuge for women and children survivors of family violence. Help us make this little warm wish of ours come true.

*Star Shelter, by the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO), is a temporary refuge for women and children survivors of family violence and abuse that provides accommodation, clothing, food, as well as therapy and educational programmes to empower survivors to rebuild their lives.

*Star Shelter, by the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO), is a temporary refuge for women and children survivors of family violence and abuse that provides accommodation, clothing, food, as well as therapy and educational programmes to empower survivors to rebuild their lives.

Photography: KARMAN / Outfit + Baseball Cap + Sandals: HERMÈS